Untitled, Unfiltered 007

I'm torn between this idea of expecting nothing and wanting everything. It's a powerful concept on the surface and can create miracles if coupled with some other techniques: Put in the work, mentally (spiritually) and physically. Have certainty and pray. 

My biggest challenge is to trust myself CONSISTENTLY and to not be influenced by others ideas and to an extent their fluff/bullshit.

I'm writing today, because someone close to me really upset me and by putting pen to paper or in this case finger to keys I hope to shake off the feeling with some self-reflection. I was disappointed by how she treated me behind my back and her lack of understanding as to why I felt the way I did. 

"Your feelings are valid, but your feelings are playing tricks on you." That doesn't resonate with my soul. Conversely, it makes me want to rage and mind race to other areas where I could have been undermined. 

I have a sweet spot for my family and friends, so I revert back to my old ways: People-pleasing. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and apologized for feeling the way I did. I should move on then.

I am desperately looking for a connection where I can expect things from others. Where you are confident in the connection and their is no bending or stretching yourself whole when things hurt you o na personal level.